Out of the Darkness
by carriebess
Summary: Cesare and Lucrezia get a happy ending.


The childbirth had been long and difficult and Lucrezia knew instinctively that it would not end well. So many pregnancies over the years, each one sapping her strength a little more, and her body was tired. She brought forth the child, a girl, but the tiny child died soon after muttering her first weak cry. The fever overtook Lucrezia, and she lacked the will to fight anymore. They cut her hair, so long now that the brown waves reached her knees, and opened her veins but she had lost her desire to keep fighting.

In her mind she begged forgiveness from God for his sins a thousand times a day. She entreated God and the Blessed Mother to spare her Beloved from the fires of hell, gladly willing to bear his punishment. "How devout the Duchess is," her ladies had whispered. "So quiet since her family died." But she was not quiet. In her mind she entreated God again and again, begging and pleading for his soul.

She closed her eyes but her hands still counted out the beads on her rosary. She had made these beads herself, collecting the petals from the flowers at Ferrara. The beads has lost their faint rose perfume and they were nobbled and misshapen from years of slipping through her fingers. Just one more prayer and she would sleep, she promised herself.

"Ave Maria, gratia plena…"

When she opened her eyes she was in a wooded glade where she could smell the pine of the trees instead of the stink of the sickroom. She smiled, content and free of pain at last. As she walked she could see that there was a man holding the reigns of huge black horse in the sunshine, dressed all in black. She shaded her eyes against the glare of the sunshine and her heart leapt into her throat.

"Cesare!" she screamed and ran to him, amazed to find that she could run again. It was no time and she was in his arms again and she sobbed with the joy of finding him at last. He smelled of leather and horses and faintly of oranges.

"It has taken you long enough my love. I have waited forever." He took her face in his hands and he kissed her again and again and she found in his kisses all the things she had been looking for since he had gone. He wound her hair, long and golden once more, around his hands so she could not leave him and held her for what seemed an eternity. "I have missed your hands." She sobbed.

"And I have missed your face." Cesare's eyes were also full of tears and they were more beautiful to her than the finest diamonds when they tracked down his face. "But this is no time for tears. Let's go home. They are waiting for you, too." He helped her onto his horse and then mounted behind her.

"Who?"

"Wait and see." He did not ride fast. He held the reigns with only one hand, keeping his arm wrapped around her waist as though he would never let he go. She talked to him, telling him of her other children and how her youngest son had his eyes so exactly that it broke her heart anew every time she saw him.

"I prayed for you my love, so many times."

"I heard your prayers." He lifted her hand from and placed a kiss in her palm. "They called me out of darkness."

The memories of her other life were fading, replaced by the smell of the grass and the warm sunshine and his strong arms around her once more.

She was not surprised to arrive at the stone villa where she had conceived their son so many years before. It had been the happiest moment of her life, the place she had returned to in her mind when things became too dark. Her sons were waiting for her there. Rodrigo, with the dark curls of his father long upon his cheeks, and Giovanni, her lost baby, was there too and they ran to greet her, the same age and smelling of bread and dust and little boy. Their arms encircled her and they told her about days racing ponies and playing with the dogs. Someone brought wine and bread and cheese for them to eat and Lucrezia could not stop laughing and her cheeks hurt from it.

"How is this possible?" she laughed and cried, so filled with joy that she felt lit from within.

"You were good enough for both of us." He smiled back at her.

"How long can we stay here?" she asked, still not completely understanding.

"We have already been here forever. Can't you tell?" And she saw that his eyes no long held dark shadows and his smile was pure and filled with joy. Their long penance had finally ended.

The end.


End file.
